Ad Rem
by Dea Domino
Summary: What was that point again? No, really [AU] [ShikaIno]
1. Point of Origin

A/N: I am utilizing my creative license a bit, making Ino a little on the short side, but that is how I always envisioned her, a little spitfire capable of making our beloved Shikamaru do anything. Hehehehehe (flashes creative license).

* * *

Ino swept into the kitchen, slamming the door so hard the cabinets rattled. Kicking off her heels and throwing the keys onto the table, she grabbed a spoon and bowel from the pile of dishes next to the sink and made her way to the freezer.

It had been one of those days. One of those days when her clothes felt tighter than they did yesterday, her hair looked like a hay stack after the animals had gotten to it, and the skirt she had worn had an enormous rip across the rear end because she had tripped over the cat while trying to apply mascara and eat toast simultaneously because it was 7:56, and she had to be at work by eight. It took twelve minutes to drive there. Going thirty miles over the speed limit.

But these were normal, everyday occurrences for Yamanaka Ino. Except for the clothes thing, she would have to take care of that. What really had put her over the edge was that she found out her boyfriend of one month and two days had been unfaithful. But this time, she hadn't seen it coming. Not a hint of an "it's not you, it's me," spiel, or a single message on his phone from the generic "significant other." She was caught completely by surprise.

Actually, she hadn't even caught him in the act. Heck, she didn't even have a chance to barge in on the unsuspecting couple and go all righteous on his ass. Her boss had pulled her aside after an afternoon meeting and said he had seen something that might interest her.

_Asuma led her towards a security room filled with miniature TV's stacked across the beige splattered walls. He walked over to a blue bin, filled to be what appeared to be security tapes. He rummaged through it for a minute, and then popped one into the VCR. He pressed play._

_"You may want to take a seat." That was all the warning she got. _

_Ino sat transfixed by the image that appeared on the screen. There was Sachio, locked in a passionate kiss with her cubicle-mate. Who happened to be a man. _

She opened the door to the freezer, letting her forehead rest against the cool plastic. Ino sighed; desperate times call for desperate measures. Her hand hovered longingly next to the chocolate-chip cookie dough ice cream, but she remembered how she hadn't been able to slide into her clothes quite as easily as she would have liked to this morning. She sighed again, and snatched the fat free, no sugar added crap from the shelf. Ino rummaged gingerly through a drawer trying to find the ice cream scoop, but settled to just eat right the carton. After all, it had been one of those days.

_She remembered seeing red. She couldn't focus on Asuma's face, or the moving image, or on her own feelings. She stormed out of the office, her heels pounding out the unfortunate man's funeral march. One minute she was flying down the stairwell, the next she is strangling Sachio with the blue tie which was conveniently located around his neck. Blue used to be her favorite color. Not anymore. _

_Her friends finally pulled her off him after he had started to turn a beautiful shade of purple. Well, Sakura and Hinata had held her back; Tenten had walked over and punched him in the face. Asuma had suggested she take the rest of the day off, to "collect herself." Sakura even went with her to make sure she didn't run over an unfortunate pedestrian who resembled her boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend that is._

She dug her spoon viciously into the slightly melted ice cream, imagining Sachio's face. It wasn't as if it was anything serious. And it's not like she was against gay relationships. Heck, she should be proud that she was able to turn a gay man straight for at least a month. Then again, she could have been his cover-up while he fooled around with all the guys in his end of the building. She sighed again. This wasn't cutting it.

Ino reached over and grabbed the phone. Dialing quickly, she listened as the phone rang, once, twice, three times.

"What?" drawled a lazy voice.

"Shika, get your ass over here. I need to talk to you."

"Ino, we're talking now." She listened as he heaved a great sigh into the phone. "Let me guess, this is about, what was his name again?"

"Shika!" She began to twirl her small fingers around the phone cord. "Come on! It's not like your doing anything

This remark earned yet another sigh, coupled with a last ditch effort to preserve the tattered remains of his afternoon. Which he meant to use to thoroughly enjoy doing nothing, but that was beside the point.

"Reminding you that I am completely and utterly uninvolved with your situation and will likely make it ten times worse because I have a natural talent for pissing you off won't help, will it?"

"Shikamaru, I think this is the first time you've resorted to rhetorical questioning to avoid me." She paused, letting out a sigh of her own. "Come on, I even got together our line-up of the Disney Classics."

Unintelligent grumbling and extensive groaning filtered through the speaker, but Ino knew he was coming. Few men can resist the allure of a woman in sweatpants surrounded by ice cream and animated characters. That, and the fact she had no qualms of physically dragging him up two floors and around the corner if he didn't show up in the next thirty minutes.

Ino referred to their relationship as "dysfunctionally stable," while digging an elbow into a sardonic Shikamaru, who pointed out that one, "dysfunctionally" was not an actual word, and two, a more accurate phrase would be "a poor, victimized individual constantly harassed by a troublesome woman who is under the misconception that he enjoys it." He would then be granted a good whack upside the head courtesy of Ino, who would then receive a response, such as, "Oi, why'd ya do that you troublesome woman?" The conversation then progressively degenerated to extended bouts of bickering and name-calling.

After thoroughly exhausted their verbal arsenals of anything remotely offensive, they then proceed to "go do something." This usually entailed Ino dragging Shikamaru into anything and everything that seemed even vaguely appealing. One could say the time spent together mattered more than where it was spent, but that person was typically Ino, who had wanted to go there anyway.

_This had been the case since infancy, when a baby Shikamaru, ignorant of the great physical and mental torment that awaited him due to this decision, had given baby Ino his stuffed panda to replace the one she had been looking for, very noisily might he add. Their parents, who had also met as infants, regarded his actions as a prediction of a great and glorious union, began planning the wedding immediately after the blessed event occurred. 'If your boy can stop my baby girl from crying, consider him a god among men,' proclaimed her father. 'What a cute couple they are," cried his mother. 'My son can be the best man," a mutual friend exclaimed. _

_And so, the trio embarked on the long and arduous journey often referred to as "The Friendship of Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji," three individuals who were so different, the closest thing they had in common was they liked something that the other two did not. Ino loved to shop, but Shikamaru and Chouji would rather gouge their eyes out. Chouji loved to eat, but Ino was always somewhat worried about her figure, and Shikamaru, well, he was too lazy to bring that much food up to his mouth. He reserved all his energy for an intense and lengthy game of Go with Asuma, a game which both Ino and Chouji tried to learn, but fell asleep before Shikamaru had actually begun. _

_A myriad of photographs lined the walls and pages of countless albums, chronicling preschool until graduation and beyond. Every single snot-nosed, tear-stained, brace-filled moment had been periodically stalked and trapped within the lens of a merciless camera, completely preserved to the horror, amusement, or delight of the observer, depending on who is being observed. _

Ino hopped off the couch and padded over to a small bookshelf shoved against to opposite wall. Pulling out a dusty volume titled "Remembering the Memories" in peeling gold decals, she began to idly turn pages, stirring up both dust mites and nostalgia.

Her lips twitched as she looked down, a surly Shikamaru and concerned Chouji staring back, their backs against a neon pink and yellow door. She had stormed off after noticing, for the first time, she had to look _up_ rather than _into_ Shikamaru's eyes. In a fit of adolescent rage she had grabbed a bottle of calcium supplements and stormed into her room, vowing to remain locked away until she had grown at least five inches. What had scared her more than anything however was a strange fluttering sensation as she glared _up_ rather than _into_ the beady eyes of an adolescent Shikamaru.

Startled and apprehensive, she had fled to the sanctity of her glitter-infested, brightly colored room. Shikamaru was adamant he had done nothing wrong and that any logical person would agree with him, but Chouji reminded him that a teenage girl was a synonym of illogical, and so both had followed her upstairs and sat outside her room for six hours while Ino attempted to identify this foreign sensation while making a simultaneous effort to grow three inches.

_Unfortunately for Ino, she remained five-foot nothing while "her boys" sprouted well past the six-foot mark. After her braces removed, the changes they underwent had moved from an insignificant pebble kicked along the side of a road to this hulking boulder they all were forced to acknowledge lest they trip and fall over it. Chouji became what he like to call, "big-boned," and solid, a far cry from the pudgy boy who bought out her entire Girl Scout troop's cookie supply. Shikamaru transitioned from a scrawny beanpole with a pineapple stuck to his head into a lean and sinuous man with a sexy shag and a perfect ass. Even Ino realized she had filled out quite nicely, although at first she was completely oblivious to her newfound sex appeal. At first, that is._

_Despite her initial fears they would grow apart, the seemingly contradictory trio managed to stick together. Ino knew Chouji cared for them with all of his selfless heart and that it would be too troublesome for Shikamaru to establish such close relationships with any other people (even if he had an I.Q of over 200). As for Ino, she hadn't realized how much they both, particularly Shikamaru, meant to her until the night before senior prom, her date had cancelled and Shikamaru had shown up on her porch, stuffed into a rumpled tuxedo a few sizes too big and carrying a slightly wilted bouquet of roses. _

_A light blush had worked its way into his cheeks as she ran down the stairs, clutching the pink robe he had given her for a birthday present tightly around her body. As she stood dazed in the doorway, he had immediately launched into a monologue that expressed Chouji's wish for her to experience at least a fraction of the happiness she had given him because of her superior matchmaking talents, but all she could hear was the sporadic thumping of her heart echoing throughout her brain, silencing all coherent thought. Out of this primordial ocean filled with slightly wilted flower petals and cologne, a staggering epiphany surfaced. She loved him. _


	2. Point of Approach

A/N: Hey everyone, MoonShineSliver's here, bearing with her the second chapter of "Ad Rem." I was so happy about the positive reaction it got from everyone because I had been toying with this writing style, and I'm so glad I got off my lazy butt to write something! A huge thank you to Astra M (I love your ShikaIno fics!), Flaming Beauty, rain.purifies.the.soul, tomboy14, Cookbook24, and whyamidoingthis01. Special thanks to rain.purifies.the.soul and they are gouls for putting this story on their fav list. Thanks guys!

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So engrossed was Ino in this haze of memories, she almost missed the distinctive click of her somewhat broken door handle. She rolled her eyes. How typical of Shikamaru to just waltz right into her apartment. Not that she didn't want him too, but still, a girl has to have some standards, right?

"Over here," she called, and winced. A traumatic crisis that was previously a romantic relationship coupled with the nostalgic reminiscence of a man who, in his own rather boorish and completely uncouth terms, labeled Ino his "loud-mouthed and bothersome neighbor with homicidal tendencies," wasn't the prime treatment for her vocal cords, or her temper for that matter. Shuffling towards the kitchen, she paused in order to inhale a few calm, cleansing breathes. Always better to begin an irate and indigent venting session with a level head.

Shikamaru was stretched boneless across the cluttered surface of the kitchen table she had been meaning to clean for some time. Ino poked his spiked hair gingerly; half-worried he had finally decided it was too troublesome to breathe.

"Geez woman, just when I was drifting off too," he groused as he cracked a squinty eye in here direction. Not many women would consider him a handsome man, but there was something sensual about how his lips pursed just so as he struggled to upright himself, and how his slouch seemed to accentuate his strongly-made arms, which were peaking out of a shirt that Ino had given him for Christmas two years ago. Much to his girlfriend's distaste.

Ayako was calm, level-headed girl Shikamaru had ordained himself to marry at the age of five, when he first realized how illogical girls were in general. Although she had a good five inches on Ino, she was, in Shikamaru's own words, completely ordinary. Brown eyes, brown hair, capable of performing the domestic habits Shikamaru found too darn troublesome. Such as cleaning, or doing the laundry. Personally, Ino couldn't find anything about the woman that was in any way, remotely interesting. This she relayed to Shikamaru, who, in an uncharacteristically theoretical tone, explained that was the point. A completely and thoroughly average woman for himself, a completely and thoroughly average man. She did, however have a jealous streak that was focused in it's entirety on Ino. Rather, Ino and her relationship to Shikamaru.

Shikamaru, thankfully oblivious to Ino's thought processes, was doing his best to stay awake and somewhat alert. After being forced to work throughout the night on a new program for the software he was developing (the fact that he owned the whole damn company did nothing to phase his somewhat irate secretary and board of directors), he was now granted with the gift of a distraught and emotionally unstable Ino who expected him to act as a humanoid squeeze toy while watching rabbits, squirrels, and an inordinate number of other fluffy, animated characters prance around some flower-filled glade. His eyes rolled to the heavens as he asked, 'Why me?'

In his opinion, (which was rarely formed and even more rarely expressed), Ino was better off without this, to put it in as delicate a phrase as possible, lowdown, two-faced, cheating bastard. Maybe she will be struck with some sort of divine intervention, and proceed to kiss him like there's no tomorrow.

He glanced half-heartedly in her direction, and then slouched back onto her table as he attempted to send her physic messages that contained her, him, and some very enjoyable contact between certain body parts. No, not those you pervert.

'Don't you just have the urge to just to crawl across this table and have your way with me on the kitchen floor?'

She blinked.

Damn.

Of course, that little voice in his brain stated, there are a few other factors prohibiting this wonderful little fantasy from occurring. Fact number one, she's completely oblivious. Number two, it's not like you're giving her any hint whatsoever that implies your deep and passionate love for her. Three, what about that girlfriend?

In truth, the reason the relationship thing involving he and Ayako had still been going on because it hadn't gone anywhere to begin with. She would come over, cook his food, do his laundry, kiss him, and then leave. Oh, and spill punch and an occasional pastry on Ino, but that hadn't occurred in a while. In fact, when she had accused him of infidelity, obviously involving he was cheating with Ino, he had just replied, 'Might as well be." After all, he had spent his life, minus five days and thirteen hours, with the tiny, blonde, terror, and it wasn't like Ayako was utterly devoted to him either. Despite possessing abilities to plan and strategize that bordered on omniscient, Shikamaru had become a strict adherent to the words, 'Ignorance is bliss.' But there are a few things you can't ignore. The fifteen missed calls from a certain 'Frank' flashing on her cell phone certainly hadn't hurt.

Even Ino had noticed, and when she did, any woman with brown eyes, hair, or had a name beginning with an A had left town pretty quick after that. Ino had thought it the perfect opportunity to repay Shikamaru back for all the times he had lent her a shoulder to cry on, and boy, was she thorough. Plus it was kind of cute to watch Ino on a war path, her eyes glinting and her hair tumbling disheveled over her pale shoulders. The fact that she came up just past Ayako's shoulder made it even more adorable. In a loud and quite troublesome manner, that is.

But when it was all said and done, though most of the saying was done on Shikamaru's part and the doing on Ino's, the situation hadn't changed. Ayako was pissed, Shikamaru was lazy, and Ino was oblivious. Granted, Ino seemed oblivious to many things, particularly things pertaining to any and all men in her life. Except for Chouji of course. She and Chouji ate carry-out and watched soaps on Saturday afternoons. That she could understand. The world of desirable and attainable men however? Quite a different story.

It wasn't as though Ino was oblivious to how attractive she was capable of looking. She had no problem sidling up to a man and while smoothing out his shirt sleeve, flirting until his eyes crossed. Establishing relationships was her specialty. It was the cost and maintenance that she had issues with. Shikamaru was actually surprised her thing with that no-good, two-faced, bastard of a man had lasted for as long as it did. Then again, that thing consisted of Ino calling the bastard to go do something, getting frustrated because he was 'busy,' and calling Shikamaru and/or Chouji to vent about it. Oh, and to go do something.

The thing is, Shikamaru had initially suspected that Sachio was gay, but it wasn't as if he could waltz up to Ino and say, 'Hey, your boyfriend's gay,' because, to put it plainly, she would beat the shit out of him. And that was really troublesome. And painful. And even more troublesome because while she was punching the living daylights out of him, she would be sniffling and sobbing, and he hated it when she cried. Life was so unfair sometimes.

"…and then Tenten ran up and just nailed him across his face…" she paused. That was never a good sign. For him, at least.

"You're not listening, are you?" Her voice had gotten indecipherably quiet.

Ino was never quiet.

Her eyes were scorching promises of pain and torture onto his retinas. He glanced at her ceiling. He looked at the walls of her kitchen. Neither seemed very sturdy. If she were to embed him on either surface, he would either end up bloody and broken having fallen seven stories onto the street, or bloody and broken having been beaten to death by the crotchety old woman who lived above her. His eyes rolled upwards

'Genius, don't fail me now,' he prayed.

"Well, you have been complaining about what's-his-face for a good half hour, so I figured you weren't creative enough to come up with a whole new string of insults, so technically, no, I wasn't."

Her hands began to twitch. Exceedingly sporadically. As in, if his neck was between them, he would be extremely short of breath. Actually, his face would be purple as he gasped for both mercy and air.

'God hates me,' he noted dully.

'No,' another voice said. 'He just has a really sadistic sense of humor.'

Her pale hair flashed as she narrowed her eyes, jabbing an accusing finger into his chest.

"You don't care, do you?"

He groaned. Great, another dilemma in which any answer was the wrong one. Oh, what a cavernous grave he dug.

She was muttering in her anger, only half conscious of what she was saying. The other was preoccupied with the coffee maker currently aimed towards that cold, heartless, insensitive idiot. Otherwise known as Shikamaru.

"…I don't know why I put up with this, I mean come on! How could I have fallen in love with such a thoughtless, unfeeling jerk!"

He froze.

"Y-y-you love me?" he stammered in a very dignified squeak.

She froze. _'Oh shit.'_

Suddenly, she blushed.

"Yeah, I do."

Blue eyes stared at him, defiant.

"What are you going to do about it"

His mind was blank.


	3. Point of Equivalence

A/N: Hey guys, sorry it took so long to update. Life's just out to get me! I'm not sure when I will get a chance to update, but I'll give it my all. Again, thanks to all the wonderful people who reviewed this story, it puts a smile on my face! Enjoy!

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One could say he was speechless. Of course, one could also say that it was impossible for a human jaw to stretch from his face to the floor, but that was relatively speaking. But putting that whole relativity thing aside, it didn't change the fact that his palms were sweating, his brow was twitching, and his brain was going a mile a minute. All because Ino had to go and blurt out a confession of love amidst mumbled threats of pain, torture, and dismemberment all pertaining to her ex.

Blue eyes stared intently at some random appliance just past his shoulder. Was it just him, or did she seem to be getting closer?

His mile-a-minute thinking got a swift kick in the ass as Ino crept towards him in the kitchen.

Jump out the window?

Too much effort.

The fire escape?

Too many steps.

Panicked eyes scanned the walls and ceiling for any gaping holes he could conveniently jump into.

Damn.

Something sharp was digging into his lower vertebrae as he attempted to shove himself through the seams of the floral wallpaper tastefully plastering the wall.

He scrunched his eyes closed, and waited to either be mauled or passionately made-out with by his current (and actually only) love interest.

Oh wait.

'You love her you lazy idiot,' his conscience hissed in his ear.

Oh, that's right.

He loved her.

Shikamaru began futile clawing motions into the wall directly behind him as Ino closed in for the kill.

Two plump, glistening lips were gravitating towards him at a rate that, if he had calculated correctly, would reach their destination in approximately 7.6 seconds.

He closed his eyes.

She closed her eyes.

Just as she cleared his neck, the window panes on her door began to rattle an omniscient warning. The drapes fluttered in anticipation, and the doorknob twisted.

Shikamaru never stood a chance.

The one and only Akimichi Chouji burst through the door, an unholy and vindictive fire burning deep within the recesses of his mind.

"I CAN"T BELIEVE HE DID THAT TO YOU INO!" an enormously loud and indignant voice exclaimed.

Slam.

"Neither can I," a newly flattened Shikamaru replied. "Hey Chouji, guess 'ya didn't see me there."

"Whoops, that can't be too comfortable," observed Chouji as he peeled Shikamaru's frame from the wall directly adjacent to the door. "Sorry, I was a little pre-occupied. A guy's gotta have his priorities."

As they had known each other from the very moment of each other's birth, both men had created and upheld an unspoken list of priorities. Ino was at the top of that list. Because if she hadn't been, things would have been extremely bloody and violent until she was put there, which promptly four seconds after said list was created. And let's face it, neither Chouji nor Shikamaru made a very convincing masochist.

While this selective prioritizing may appear odd in its simplicity, Chouji was quick to explain to any speechless individual (obviously not in the families) observing Shikamaru and Ino interacting, it has always remained a valuable tool utilized to maintain the dynamics of the Ino-Shika-Chou relationship from the time of its infancy. Actually, their own respective infancies.

With a little nudge from a hanger, a solitary sock, and some good old elbow grease, Shikamaru was eventually pried off the wall. Key word being eventually.

As Chouji worked the edge of the hanger underneath his friend's body, he leaned over and whispered,

"You managed to hide the rat poison, didn't you?"

Shikamaru shot him a quote-unquote 'expressive' look, which can be roughly translated to, 'Do you honestly think I would leave anything even remotely dangerous in the premise of an emotionally disturbed female who happens to be our best friend and sometimes mentally unstable?'

"Well it never hurts to ask," Chouji muttered, digging the metal hook a little too vigorously into the wall.

An ominous rip sounded.

"Oh man, Ino's so gonna kill me!"

Cue blank stare from Shikamaru.

Chouji's cheeks began to enlarge, and tears gathered within the corners of his eyes.

He let out a whimper.

"Well you're a fine specimen of mankind," Shikamaru snorted as he idly twiddled his fingers. Bits of wallpaper and dry wall crumbled down to the floor.

Chouji began to hyperventilate.

Blissfully unaware of his best buddy teetering on the brink of what promised to be an incredibly traumatic and extremely explosive nervous breakdown, Shikamaru squinted up at the ceiling, watching as the fan slowly rotated above his head.

It's not like he had anything better to do. After all, it's not like Chouji is in any position to peel his sorry ass off the wall, and the only other occupant capable of wielding the hanger was most likely to stab both of them for damaging her wall. Yeah, Ino would be really thorough. And it saves her the trouble of having to extract a confession from either of her friends as they would both be sufficiently punished. The end justifies the means, right?

Shikamaru returned his contemplation of the fan.

Swish.

Gasp.

Swish.

Gasp.

He glared at his best friend, who was about to go into cardiac arrest.

"Geez, could you be any more distracting? And it's not like she's going to _kill _you or anything."

He paused.

"Well, at least not here anyway. She might wait until after you go home, and then bludgeon you to death with an iron or something."

He paused again.

"Nah, Ino's not _that_ dramatic. She's more likely to just grab a giant knitting needle an…"

Thump.

"Well sheesh, I was just trying to be helpful, and then you pass out on me! Humph, some friend you are."

Another pause.

"Wait a sec, who's going to get me down from here?"

"Ino?"

"INO!"

"INO GET YOUR LAZY ASS IN HERE, I THINK CHOUJI MIGHT'VE…"

Ino was at the door in two seconds flat, hair spilling over her shoulders as she rushed to kneel by the unconscious mountain of a main sprawled across her kitchen floor. She bent her head, listening to make sure Chouji was breathing at regular intervals. Satisfied with his condition, she turned to face the man still partially imbedded into her wall.

Shikamaru licked his dry lips as she slowly advanced on his helpless form.

'Hey, this seems kinda familiar,' his mind whispered. 'At least we're prepared for when she kisses the living daylights out of us and then…"

His increasingly graphic thoughts were interrupted by the fires of eternal damnation blazing forth from her eyes.

A hand grabbed his collar, and yanked down. Really hard.

Her lips moved against his ear, and a shiver of apprehension ran all the way down to his toes.

"What did you just call my ass?"

'Am I a closet masochist?'

Ouch.

That was going to leave a mark.


	4. Point of Contingency

A/N: Sorry about such an enormously long wait for an update, but I forced myself to sit down and churn out this little number. Finals are this week, but I am going to be editing the previous chapters, and may even be able to update again. Ambitious? I'd like to think so. Don't forget, reviews make my world go round!

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The image that was refracting through his eyeballs being processed regardless of is mental stability was something Shikamaru had never though he would have experienced on this great green earth. Not even the product of a hastily and rather unwise decision to undertake a bet involving a waffle iron, ribbons, and several pints of alcohol had yielded such a remarkable feat of edible proportions. 

A decidedly animated and lively scrambled egg was levitating over his head, complete with two enormous blueberries that were wiggling around excitedly, and a strip of bacon that kept ripping and then gluing itself back together.

Shikamaru sincerely hoped that Ino hadn't made that for breakfast. Then he'd actually have to eat it.

Fortunately for our assumed victim, this blob of breakfast material was a very worried Yamanaka Ino, who was regretting that the love of her life couldn't stand up to a single lousy punch.

More of a smack, actually.

But even though it was undeniably and irrefutably his fault, he acquired a lump the size of a small orange on the side of his head, and she felt rather guilty for slugging him. After all, he had dragged his lazy ass all the way up two flights of stairs just because she had witnessed her ex-boyfriend practice resuscitation techniques with the only man in the office. And she loved him. That counted for something.

"Sorry about your face," she said, brandishing an ice pack and a couple pills in his direction. "Guess I just don't know my own strength."

Cue the eye roll, courtesy of Shikamaru.

Though he had bore witness to the bizarre, righteous fury that Ino had displayed over the years, he was still at a loss to explain it. A tiny girl should not be able to hurl a two-hundred and twenty pound football player into a wall, nor should she possess the ability to knock out a six-foot two man, e.g. Shikamaru, with a single punch. Granted, a woman scorned does not obey the laws of physics (or any other type to law for that matter), and that a woman scorned on behalf of her friend, as was the case with the football guy, could tear metal apart with her teeth.

"S'okay, I have a hard head." She laughed at that, but still wouldn't meet his eyes.

He watched as she ran nervous fingers through her hair, which was escaping from a haphazard braid. A golden halo of hair coupled with big blue eyes could mislead many. And if Shikamaru hadn't been suffering from what he believed to be a mild concussion, he would have remarked that Ino looked almost angelic.

Both he and Chouji liked to believe they had grown somewhat immune to Ino's looks, but neither could deny that she had grown into an extraordinarily beautiful woman. A woman who was disposed to sudden and rather violent mood swings, but a woman nonetheless. And he would be a down-right liar to claim that he never snuck glances, which he did nearly every moment he was with her, but he was discrete.

So while Shikamaru may have appreciated Ino's beauty and may stare at her more often then he'd like to admit, he wasn't blinded by it. He knew Ino, he'd known her when she would stick macaroni up her nose and into her diaper, when she said "Sii-ka" for the first time, when she had first reached for his hand and held it in pudgy fingers. He knew how selfish and temperamental she could be, how she hogged the covers and controlled the remote, how she hit people when she was angry and flirted with anything that moved.

But he also knew how she brought flowers to his house when his grandfather had died, and how she always stuck by her friends. How she gave money to the homeless man who slept near the dumpster, and that she still cried when they watched "The Lion King" together.

She wasn't an angel.

She was Ino.

His Ino.

And Shikamaru loved her.

But try as he might to hide it from the world's prying eyes, Shikamaru was actually a pretty decent guy. And a decent guy simply does not go around kissing his object of affection when said object is obviously distressed about a failed relationship and emotionally unstable.

Sometimes, having morals sucked.

Ino, rather shaken by the intensity of his gaze, jumped unsteadily to her feet and began fussing with the blankets Shikamaru suddenly found himself cocooned in. Actually, a more accurate term would be smothered by.

"Ino, it's okay, I…"

Smack went the cover.

"I really don't nee…"

Smack.

"Troublesome woman, I…"

Smack.

"Ino, stop it!"

This accidental bludgeoning her invalid friend receiving stopped immediately, and she looked at him with eyes that caused his stomach to seize up and his pulse to race.

"I have something to tell you," his voice sounded gravelly and he licked suddenly dry lips.

_Come on now! Let's show her to old Nara courage. Get up off'a that bed you lazy oaf, if you're going to say this, at least say it properly._

Struggling against several pounds of blankets and bandages Ino had applied during his short stay on her couch, Shikmaru proceeded to dump water all over the carpet, break two dishes, and fall into a heap on top of the love of his life.

Such was the strength of his passions.

Unfortunately, the lady who garnered these passions wasn't exactly passionate about being crushed to death against wet carpeting by a man who was notorious for not moving.

"Argh! Shikamaru, you lazy bum, I can't breathe!" Ino had resorted to using her knees as leverage against his stomach, while her hands beat uselessly against his shoulders.

Meanwhile, her knight in shining armor was attempting to free himself from his blanket-infested prison in order to confess undying devotion to his one and only love, which was currently jabbing him in the gut with her knees repeatedly.

"Gah, Ino! Just give me a sec' you troublesome woman, I'm just trying…"

Her nimble hands had made contact with his right shoulder at such an angle that his whole elbow locked up on him.

His body, of course, was already pressed up against Ino, but his lips suddenly decided to join the party too. He felt her soft lips crash against his own, and he could have sworn he saw fireworks.

Ino was in shock.

Shikamaru was kissing her.

_Shikamaru_ was _K-I-S-S-I-N-G her._

Hot damn.

'Well,' she thought, as she slid her hands up to his shoulders and around his neck, pulling him down, 'that went much smoother then I'd expected.'

Shikamaru felt a groan wriggle its way through his throat as Ino did something very interesting and _very_ enjoyable with her tongue. The hands he had circled around her waist were buried into her shirt, and he was fighting the urge to move them somewhere a little more intimate.

He had never considered himself to be a very motivated individual (actually, to be honest, a squirrel probably had more drive then he did), nor had he ever truly desired something above all else.

Except for Ino.

He'd always wanted Ino.

But for the first time in his life, Shikamaru felt he was where he wanted to be. He wasn't staring half-heartedly at a chalkboard or typing aimlessly at a computer, wishing for a grassy hill and a cloud filled sky. He wasn't dreaming of the way Ino's lips curved in a smile as she lay next to him.

He was kissing those lips.

And it felt _right_.

Suddenly, a bolt of blond hair kicked down the front door, and swept into the front room. Ino and Shikamaru, panting and red in the face, jumped nearly a foot in the air when they saw their untimely visitor.

He stood there for a moment, surveying the scene, and then whipped out a small silver cell phone. Punching a button on the keyboard, he waited a few moments, and then proceeded to bellow words of victory that had been building for over twenty years.

"Shikaku, you owe me ten bucks! I told you they'd get together before thirty."

Ino looked at the man with an expression usually reserved for little green aliens or Bigfoot.

Shikmaru quickly untangled himself from the blankets, and hurried over to stay by her. He cleared his throat, quite conscious of his messy hair and the vivid mark that graced Ino's neck.

"Hello Mr. Yamanaka, how are you doing?"

Inoichi clapped a heavy hand onto his shoulder.

"Son, you have no idea how happy you just made your mother. Were you two thinking of a spring wedding? Ino would look just ravishing amidst the blooming…"

Ino let out a strangled squeak.

Shikamaru sighed, as he watched the older man chatter on about flower arrangements and matching china.

'Shouldn't I be able to predict these things?'

Alas, even he wasn't that good.

Damn.


End file.
